You can see everything from up top, but still so far from your reach.
I sit on my desk contemplating the next things ahead. Currently, there are a few assignments to be handed in: a 1000 essay comparing the Granada frontier with that of 19th Century United States (which I am not so interested since I could care less about American history), a presentation analyzing 3 romance poems from the Granada frontier, a presentation regarding New Zealand tax policy and its status as a “fiscal paradise” and finally, a character analysis for a book from which I have read for my Spanish Language class. I am reminded of what we talked about today in Marketing: between sender and receiver, the encoding and decoding of the message, there is some noise that permeates the channel inhibiting the message to be clearly sent. The noise in my head is thought itself.
I have less than 17 days before I leave Spain. To some, I has probably stretched as long as it could, to others clearly not enough time passed. I can’t help but be excited for coming home. I can’t help but realize that time is running out for some new time to fill the rest of my year. I spent nearly half a year away from home, and yet I don’t feel like I’ve had enough.
I feel this way because as I have subscribed to this Catholic podcasts, I realize that I still have a year and a half’s worth of content to absorb before finishing the podcasts. In my impatience, I desire to get them done. But rushing through the information without proper discernment nor reflection is simply to accomplish nothing. I think about the trials we must face in life, in the academic and natural education of our minds and our souls, that at the end of the day, we cannot even fathom the things that we need to know. In our impatience, we forget the journey and focus too much on the destinations. “Where are we headed?” is discussed more often than “How are we getting there?.”
Truth is: I barely know anything. Even with the vast travels, the life experiences, the education, what do I really know? I feel not depressed by this notion, but rather I am more invigorated. Life has so much more in store for me and for everyone around me. Everything I have done before is not moot, rather just the foundation for more experience and for careful application in life. To know everything is to be God. I seek not to be God, but to know Him. To know God is to know Love, and in the end, I know my purpose and my reason for existence. How can we even think that we know everything about the universe when we still cannot comprehend the reason for existence?
